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Thursday, May 22, 2003
Ten Things I Learned from Soap Operas

  1. Most people are incredibly attractive.

  2. Amnesia is a widespread health problem.

  3. One should approach a sixth marriage with the conviction that this time it's for real. Just like the previous five.

  4. The leading causes of death among affluent Americans are murder, car accidents, and airplane crashes in remote tropical areas. Death by this third method is rarely permanently fatal.

  5. Most of the planet is populated by models, doctors, tycoons, and randy teenagers. There are also a few policemen to arrest them and clergymen to marry and bury them.

  6. You should not be surprised if previously unsuspected children show up from time to time.

  7. Many people have twins they do not know about. This can be handy.

  8. When in trouble, lie. You will always get caught at it, but this should not stop you.

  9. No temptation is ever successfully resisted.

  10. I really, really need to find a job.
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